Comic Book Predictions for 2009

Dec-15-08

Here at “Meanwhile…Comics!”, we’ve spent the past year talking about what we would do differently with the characters and titles found in the Marvel and DC universes. It’s been fun to play editor-after-the-fact. However, if we want to be true editors of a comic book world, we need to learn to plan ahead as well. So, John and I thought this would be a good opportunity to take a peek into the future and see what 2009 may hold for our favorite Marvel and DC characters. I’ll kick off the festivities and then John can comment on my thoughts and add some of his own (you guys know the drill). In 2009, I predict…

1. MODOK will make a comeback. Granted, this freak has been the butt of many jokes in the past year or two, but he used to be leader (many times over) of AIM and one of Captain America’s most visually interesting foes. The way Ed Brubaker is scrolling through the early Cap bad guys…Red Skull, Doctor Faustus, Arnim Zola…he’s bound to get to MODOK sooner than later. And then, we can expect dramatic comebacks from the likes of The Stranger, Solarr, Monster Ape, Yellow Claw, The Tumbler and The Alchemoid. Classics all.

2. DC will go through yet another crisis. And the Internet will weep. And no one will understand what’s going on. And the whole thing will center around an epic battle between Bat-Mite and Streaky the Super Cat. The plot will get leaked to someone’s blog and then Dan DiDio will spend four months rejiggering the whole thing so that Bat-Mite ends up either torn in half or stuffed in a refrigerator (or, in his case, a little Coleman cooler). Tears will fall. Heroes will rise up. No one will notice.

3. Wasp will come back from the dead. And so will Steve Rogers and Bruce Wayne and Martian Manhunter and Orion and everyone else who went down this year. Are you shocked yet? I’m even going to go out on a limb and say that Mockingbird will die again, just so Bendis can mess with Hawkeye a little bit more. Jerk.

4. Some second tier characters will get their own titles. And then get them cancelled. I’m looking at you, Dakota North! Oh, what’s that? You already had a title that no one bothered to read? Never mind then. Now I’m looking at you, Nth Man! What? Really?? Oh. Well, maybe She-Hulk will get her own title again. Fingers crossed.

5. Frank Miller and Rob Liefeld will collaborate. In the crossover, Batman and Shatterstar will carry really big guns, swear a lot, and constantly look like they’re in pain (either through their expressions or the fact that they have teeny, tiny ankles and ginormously huge upper body structure). Oh, and the whole thing will be presented in vivid black & white…because, you know, that never gets old.

That’s five things off the top of my head. I predict that John will inspire more sarcasm in me. What do you predict?

Well, it’s certainly hard to argue with the prediction that the dead in comics will rise again. I’d also go ahead and add Shadowcat to your list, as I’m sure she’ll return from her Joss Whedon-penned demise in short order (at least I’d hope so, as she’s one of the few truly interesting members of the X-Men). It’s also certainly hard to argue with DC having another Crisis. I know this one is called Final Crisis, but who really believes that?

Here are some other predictions:

1. Brian Michael Bendis will suffer fatigue from writing 75% of the titles Marvel produces and his scripts will show it: Oh, I’m sorry, that happened in 2006. I’m supposed to be looking to the future. I do, however, feel that he will continue to be one of the guiding lights behind the Marvel Universe, that his writing will continue to avoid hitting the heights it did back when he wrote only a few fringe books, and that I will continue to avoid purchasing most Marvel titles for this very reason.

2. Mark Millar will unveil his latest brainstorm: Ultimate Midnighter and Ultimate Apollo!: In an attempt to breathe life back into the Ultimate Universe, Mark Millar will introduce Ultimate Midnighter and Apollo into that world. Once there, they will become members of the Ultimates, leading that team to new heights of debauchery and pathetic attempts to incite readers with cheap sensationalistic antics. Ultimate Captain America will prove to be a giant homophobe and will fight with them both, eventually ending when Apollo sodomizes him at which point Cap will see the error of his ways and shack up with Ultimate Colossus.

3. Spider-Girl will be relaunched and then re-cancelled. Twice. Which is a pretty safe bet any year.

4. Dan Didio will make internet fandom arise against him in anger when he decides that the DC Universe needs to kill off Captain Marvel. “He’s really just another Superman, right? I’ve never seen the point of him. He’s redundant.”

5. Ed Brubaker and Matt Fraction will launch a new title, “Raging Razorback”, will will become a huge critical darling. “We can make any previously unimportant D list hero relevant and exciting,” Brubaker will say in an interview on Newsarama. The book will indeed, launch to much critical and commercial success, which will last for eight months, when both creators will then leave the book to work on a relaunch of El Aguila. Some poor relative unknown will be tapped to replace them, and Razorback’s title will quickly fade from view. However, I declare 2010 to be the year of El Aguila!

Oh, snap! Those are some good ones. The Bendis point is so true it’s ridiculous. Everyone seems to hint that Bendis will be Quesada’s replacement as Editor-in-Chief eventually. What a horrible day that will be in the Marvel U. Everyone…will…yeah, but…well, you know…we can…we can all start, y’know, start…talking like…um…like, y’know, this? Or…yeah. Yes.

I’m not sure DiDio will get to Captain Marvel in 2009 though. He still has to do long division on the rest of the former Robins, a couple Green Arrows, three Flashes, at least two Atoms and a generous handful of Green Lanterns. Captain Marvel might get pushed to 2010.

I absolutely LOVE the Brubaker/Fraction reference. So true. And, so help me, I’d happily buy every issue of Raging Razorback. Y’know…until the scrub creative team takes over.

That reminds me of a few more things I can predict for 2009…

1. Someone will finally sell an Aquaman pitch. And that lucky devil will be Grant Morrison. The book will be described as “Lovecraft with sex pirates,” the art will be provided by Frank Quitely, and the first issue will come out 22 months after the book is announced. Critics will rejoice. Fans will scurry for their dictionaries. And, somehow, Morrison will win a Nobel Prize for literature. He’ll accept the award in a shiny suit and then disappear from the stage in a puff of smoke.

2. The TV-to-comics writer trend will continue. 2009 will see the debut of three titles that take place in a hospital, four that deal with scientist cops, one that features a law firm and one that has some sort of weird sci-fi vibe but just gets more convoluted and confusing as it progresses. Pretty soon, readers will give up on it all and start turning to the serialized versions of Survivor and The Amazing Race. The Comic Writers Strike of 2009 will come to a head with Deal or No Deal: The Comic Book (which will immediately be optioned by Sony for a three-picture deal).

3. All the superhero tropes will make an appearance. Someone will be resurrected. Someone will lose their memory. A plot will turn out to be a vividly bad dream. Another plot will turn out to have taken place in a different dimension. Time travel will solve someone’s problems. A bad guy will have his “lifeforce’ transferred to another body a split second before his current body is destroyed. Certain characters will die in one title, only to pop up in another as if nothing ever happened and nothing is explained. One hero will secretly wear the costume of another hero. There will be an evil twin…with a goatee and, preferably, an eyepatch. An older sister will turn out to be someone’s mother instead. Someone will cheat on someone else with their brother…and get pregnant! Wow…those last few went into soap opera territory, didn’t they?

4. Wolverine will get three more titles. And, right before his movie debuts, he’ll show up in crossovers with Hulk, Punisher, Spider-Man, Ghost Rider, Iron Man, Moon Knight, Ms. Marvel, Thunderbolts, Captain Britain, Anita Blake, Dark Tower and even the Marvel Illustrated version of The Man in the Iron Mask.

5. DC will slip to #3 in sales. This will happen when Dark Horse signs a licensing deal for a Harry Potter vs. Twilight series. Geeks worldwide will suddenly realize that Dark Horse publishes books featuring Hellboy, Star Wars, Buffy, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Serenity and pretty much every other popular genre-based character and Eliza Dushku role outside the superhero realm. The mainstream media will try to make a story out of the fact that comics exist that aren’t based around male power fantasies. A few people will take note, but aging fanboys will rally against the minimally perked popular interest, decrying these new books as “dumb” and the people who read them as “idiots.” The world will realize what socially repressed assholes the core comic readership is comprised of, the potential excitement will die away and superhero comics will continue to shrink in both quality and reach. Everyone will be happy. Hooray!

Have I mentioned lately how much I enjoy reading comics? Just wanted to reinforce that.

I would so read that Aquaman book.

I can’t wait to read more Wolverine titles. With his three monthlies, plus his appearances in multiple X-Men titles and Avengers affairs, I simply don’t feel that we’re seeing enough of him. With a major motion picture coming out next year, I don’t understand why Marvel doesn’t capitalize on this underused character. Perhaps the launch of Spectacular Wolverine, Wolverine: The Best There Is At What He Does and Superfluous Wolverine, will help to fill the gap and will help draw non-comics readers into comics shops after the movie is a hit. Oh wait. No, that won’t work, since all of those books will be cynical, angry books, mired in years of confusing continuity that would take ten years to understand. My bad.

My crystal ball is clouding over, but I do have a few more predictions for next year:

1. Usagi Yojimbo will continue to be an amazing comic, with spectacular writing, good art, and it will appear on a regular monthly schedule. It’s creator, writer and artist, Stan Sakai, with perform this feat, amazing in and of itself, while still finding time to do another few odd projects, such as lettering a Groo miniseries for Dark Horse. Comic book scientists will still be unable to distill and bottle this amazing man, and other comics creators will still be unable to duplicate his feats.

2. The third issue of Kevin Smith’s Batman book will not ship. Look for it in 2011. It will still suck.

3. Peter David will launch a new series starring Hawkeye, a popular character who has had his own series in the past, but never seems to be able to keep one long term. The series will be smartly written. It will have humor, but will also handle serious subjects. It will be popular with critics and get good reviews. It will have strong art, with clean storytelling and a sense of fun. It will be cancelled within the first two years.

4. Judd Winick will start writing another three titles in the DCU. Characters in those titles will note that instances of rape, general violence and needless slaughter increase by 150%.

5. The comics industry will continue to hemorrage readers, while the leaders in the industry refuse to consider alternate business strategies that would keep the artform alive in the longterm. Oh, how I wish I had a punchline for this one.

And, I’m spent.

Hey! Don’t throw Hawkeye under the bus like that! X-Factor hasn’t been cancelled (again) yet, has it? It’s funny that we assign certain traits to certain writers. If the characters were actually living and breathing members of a contained universe, do you think they’d be having water cooler conversations about who’s handling their writing duties?

Fade in on Hulk, Moon Knight and Ms. Marvel talking in the break room of a nondescript office building. Iron Man approaches with a casual saunter.

IRON MAN: What’s up, homeslices?

HULK: Have you seen Spidey?

IRON MAN: Nah. Kid’s a square. Too angsty for me.

MOON KNIGHT: Pfft. Not anymore. Bendis got a hold of him for some event comic. Poor Petey is talking like a fry cook with a head injury. Takes ten minutes to say hello.

MS. MARVEL: That’s so sad. Did you hear that Peter David is taking over my book?

IRON MAN: Well, it was nice knowing you!

Everyone laughs.

HULK: You’re lucky. I’ve got two titles right now. One with Slott and one with Claremont. I wake up in the morning and I don’t know if I’m supposed to be bashing stuff and throwing out clever quips or if I’m just supposed to be standing around delivering panel-cramping monologues about my feelings and every relationship I’ve ever had.

The group nods their heads in agreement. Just then, Green Arrow walks into the room. He’s looking around confusedly.

GREEN ARROW: Anyone seen Batman?

HULK: Last I saw him, Kevin Smith had called him into his office. But that was six months ago.

MOON KNIGHT: Anyone know what Smith’s doing with that whole Daredevil/Bullseye thing? I swear he’s got bodies buried under the floorboards.

Hercules storms into the room. He whips his coffee mug across the room and imbeds it in the wall.

HERCULES: Goddamn, Millar! Even I don’t have enough muscles to keep up with these redundant fight scenes!

GREEN ARROW: Hey, just be glad you’re not part of the Legion! I hear Winick took over that book and now they only have four members left. Freakin’ bloodbath. Families. Friends. Pets. Raped and dismembered. I hear they only found chunks of some of the Substitute Heroes. I don’t know what refrigerators look like in the 31st century, but they must hold a lot.

Ms. Marvel starts crying. Moon Knight moves over to comfort her.

IRON MAN: I miss the good ol’ days. Stan Lee couldn’t write for crap, but at least we all got home in one piece.

HULK: And almost everyone’s name rhymed too. Big help.

HERCULES: Yeah. So…what do you guys think about Grant Morrison?

IRON MAN: I hear he turned Wonder Woman into a dude. And an astronaut. S/he can see into the future now.

MOON KNIGHT: Hmph. Lucky break. Sales ought to go through the roof on that one.

Fade out.

Sigh…I’d take one meticulous, thoughtful Stan Sakai over a hundred Judd Winicks any day.


Casting Call: Captain America

Nov-17-08

Marvel has announced an upcoming Captain America movie, as part of their Avengers series of films. Now, details about the film aren’t available (at least, details aren’t available to me), so I don’t know which characters from the comics we might see in the upcoming film, but I thought we might take a look at the characters who figure prominently in Cap’s life and see who we might choose to cast in those parts.

Captain America: Obviously, this is the most important role in the film, and it’s tempting to cheat by saying I’d cast an virtual unknown, like they have with Superman in the beginning of his two film series. I think that a movie with a new actor in the starring role, and with established actors filling out the rest of the supporting cast, would work very well. However, that’s kind of cheating for these Casting Calls, so let’s see who we can find. Cap is actually a difficult role to fill; you need an action star who can act, but more importantly, you need a huge, buff guy, which really isn’t in vogue these days. Most young actors are skinny and don’t have the size that Cap really needs. That being said, I’m going to cast Adam Baldwin, from Firefly, Angel and Chuck. I can’t remember if I’ve cast him before, and he’d need to dye his hair blond, but he’s a great actor, and he’s got the size to be a convincing Cap.


Red Skull: Cap’s greatest enemy is a sure bet to be in the film, although I don’t know if they’ll have the skull be just a mask, or his actual face. I’m also not sure if they’ll play him more as a criminal genius or as a martial arts expert to rival Cap. In either case, chances are we aren’t going to see his face much. Still, if there’s an actor we know can do an evil German, and we know can act under a lot of makeup, that would be Ralph Fiennes. Whether we see his actual face or not, he would make the Skull truly memorable.


Bucky during World War II: Hard to say how much of the movie will be set in WWII, but a younger Bucky is a distinct possibility. What young actor could recreate the character? Without a doubt, this has been the hardest part for me to cast. I would have cast Lucas Black, from American Gothic in the part, were he still 15 years old. Sadly, that time has past us. I find it hard to actually identify teenage male actors who seem like they could handle this part; most “teens” on TV are in the early 20s and tend to look like it, and I really think that Bucky needs to be a teenager. Finally, I’m going to go with Rafi Gavron, who was just in Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist. He was fun in that character, but he’s younger, he looks like a teenager, and yet he’s built enough to be Bucky (he’s the one on the left).


Winter Soldier: The older Bucky has proven to be such a neat idea in Ed Brubaker’s comics that he would have to be included. I’ve recast this part a few times. Personally, I think that the Winter Soldier should look pretty bad, and look a little older, to really cement how much he’s been through since WWII. However, in the comics he still looks relatively young, since he’s been in suspended animation for many of those years. I’m going to pick Jensen Ackles, of Supernatural, who has the build and the ability to be moody and intense. I think he could pull it off.


Sharon Carter: There’s sure to be a love interest, and Sharon Carter is the best one for Cap. As the only main female character in the movie, this woman has to do a lot. She’s got to be able to be strong, both physically and emotionally. I’m going to go with Charlize Theron, who’s proven she can hold her own in both Hancock and Aeon Flux (among others).

Nick Fury: I’m going to stick with the casting of Samuel Jackson for this one. I think the role should have gone to David Hasselhoff, who played Fury in the TV movie, but for some reason, Hollywood didn’t agree. Since Fury has already been seen in the Marvel movie Iron Man, and Jackson will do a great job with it, he’s in.

We were going to add another villain, but since this took me so long, I’m going to leave it with these six. Jason may discuss the other villain if he’d like. I’m sure he’ll have some comments on these selections anyway.

Yeah, I noticed on Friday that Newsarama was invading our casting turf (after we blatantly swiped it from Wizard…back when Wizard used to be good…or at least better…or at least entertaining) and thought we should jump on casting a movie that actually has a chance of being made in the near future. Our Justice League, Hawkeye and Doctor Strange casting calls are all pipe dreams at this point. But this one could actually see the light of day! Hopefully the two of us, and our four and a half average daily readers, can have some influence!

John made some solid choices overall. I don’t really feel horribly put off by any of them, but I do think there are some individuals who could fill a few of these roles more appropriately. I will say that I did not mind at all doing a 20-minute image search for the right Charlize Theron picture. As I’ve said before, she and Kate Beckinsale can do no wrong in my eyes. I was going to pose a half-serious argument for David Hasselhoff in the Nick Fury role, with visions of his career taking off like Travolta’s did post-Tarantino. But then I realized that I don’t really want The Hoff’s career to take off (and I don’t really care for Travolta either…he ruined what could have been a good Punisher movie).

Like John said, I was originally thinking of a secondary villain. Not sure how the script would play out, but it seems like Baron Strucker and HYDRA could be good foils for Captain America as he struggles with the Red Skull. And the two villains are of the same mold and might work with each other (or double cross each other as villains are wont to do). So, I’ll be casting the role of Strucker in addition to the others…

Captain America: I like Adam Baldwin…as a supporting actor. For some reason, and I don’t know if it’s the person or the roles he’s been put into, he always comes across as smug and sarcastic to me. He just doesn’t seem like the all-American guy I picture when I think of Cap. I’m with you on this one that they should probably cast a relatively unknown actor. However, I have to give it a shot, so I’ll go with Colin Ferguson. You may recognize him from a variety of TV shows, most recently the Sci Fi series Eureka. He’s 36, looks world-weary and can play both strong and humble (he has an improv background). The only slight against him is that he’s fairly thin…but I could see that working for the pre-serum Steve Rogers and then have him add some weight for the action parts of the flick.


Red Skull: I have no problem with Ralph Fiennes, per se. He’s a great actor who has played both a German and a villain, so that’s a good fit. The role needs a strong personality, someone who is willing to play it over the top and really brash. I’m not saying Ralph Fiennes is out, but I would like to offer up two other choices: Peter Weller (Robocop) and Peter Greene (Zed in Pulp Fiction). Oddly enough, both actors have the same general appearance…which seems to translate well to a skeletal look. Weller always came across as a bit more stone-faced and cold to me. Greene is the quintessential slimy bad guy type and creeps me out on screen. Let me know what you think of either of those options.


Bucky (young WWII version): I’m in the same boat as you when it comes to young Hollywood types who could play this role. In lieu of pounding my head on my desk in an attempt to shake a name loose, I’m just going to agree with you on this Rafi Gavron dude (even though I have no idea who he is).

Bucky (Winter Soldier version): This is another Ralph Fiennes moment for me. I see nothing wrong with Jensen Ackles and actually enjoy his Supernatural role. While he’s not yet written off by me, I’d like to suggest some competition in the form of Wentworth Miller. Miller has that look of someone who has gone through hell, been manipulated and came out the other side not giving a damn. Brooding is a good trait for older Bucky. It also helps that Miller looks like an older version of Gavron.


Sharon Carter: As I said above, I’m a ginormous Charlize Theron fan. She’s gorgeous. She’s fun. She’s proven she can occupy a variety of roles. I’m sure there are other strong blonde actresses out there, I’m just drawing a blank on any one in particular right now. Therefore, Theron is in.

Baron Strucker: The head of HYDRA has to have a maniacal bent to him. In fact, I posit that he has to look literally insane from power and hatred of his fellow man. This role needs an abrasive, evil man who can not only hold up under the monocle, facial scar and bald look…but thrive in it! For this special spot in the credits, I choose the guy who played both Laura Palmer’s dad on Twin Peaks and the Devil himself in Reaper: Ray Wise.


Sam Jackson as Nick Fury is a gimme. That completes my cast…sort of. Let’s discuss the Red Skull role a bit. And then give me your feedback. I can take it!

You’re completely correct when you say that Adam Baldwin has usually been somewhat smarmy, if not downright villainous. I think, however, that he’s a good enough actor to pull off Cap, but your counter suggestion of Colin Ferguson was brilliant! I hadn’t thought of him, and he would be great! You’re right, he’s a little thin, but he should be able to bulk up.

As for the Red Skull, your choices are fine, but I’m going to defend Ralph Fiennes. I think he’s a stronger actor than the other two, and again, he’s proven that he can work through makeup. He’s also an excellent villain, who simply oozes menace, and he can be somewhat cultured at the same time. Of all my choices, he’s the one I feel the strongest about, and I still think he’s the best choice for the role.

How sad is it that we couldn’t come up with a better choice for a young Bucky? It says something either about today’s teen actors, or our knowledge of today’s teen actors. Again, I can think of former child stars who would have been good in the role, but they’re all too old now, and most “high school” students are TV are in their 20’s. Is there an actor waiting in the wings on the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon that I’m simply not aware of? Quite possibly. Perhaps this is the part that will be filled with some unknown after a nationwide search.

I’m a huge Wentworth Miller fan as well, and he could pull off the Winter Soldier, no doubt about it. This is the first choice where I throw up my hands and say that I could see either one in role. I think I’ll go with Wentworth Miller, simply because he does look more like our young Bucky than Jensen Ackles. I think he may also be a little thin for the role, but that’s nothing a personal trainer and a high protein diet won’t fix.

Ray Wise as Strucker is a great choice! I’m good with that. I believe we have our cast!

You’re right that Fiennes is clearly the better actor of the three choices. And it might help to anchor the cast with someone who has that experience and depth. Plus, Fiennes could play the role with more of a simmering hatred which would contrast brilliantly with a boastful, bombastic Strucker. Isn’t it rather strange though that all three of the actors selected have the same basic appearance? The larger forehead and deep-set eyes really portray the skull visage underneath.

I’m trying to come up with something to fill that “young Hollywood” gap in my brain, but it feels like a fruitless effort. All the Nickelodeon shows my sons watch are either animated or feature teenagers who don’t really act like teenagers. And if you’re good with Wentworth Miller then it makes sense to cast the visually similar Gavron as his younger self.

So that’s that. Not only could I imagine Colin Ferguson smiling in the face of danger as Ralph Fiennes seethes and fumes, but I could also totally see Ray Wise and Sam Jackson butting heads on opposite sides of a national security threat. Anyway, here’s our version of the Captain America movie cast:



Top 5 Marvel Presidential Candidates

Nov-03-08

We did this with DC last week, so let’s check out who I would vote for in the Marvel Universe.

Before I begin, let me start out by saying that my number one choice would, of course, be Captain America, Steve Rogers. C’mon, he’s a no-brainer! He’s smart, he’s fair, he loves the country and doesn’t crave power…who in the world wouldn’t vote for this man? However, as he’s currently dead in the Marvel Universe, I’m not going to put him on my list. Rest assured, however, that he would be at the top if not for his inconvenient state of non-life.

1. Sam Wilson: Yes, the Falcon would probably be my number one choice for president, with poor old Steve Rogers pushing daises. The Falcon actually ran for office once, but sadly lost. Still, he holds many of the same views as his close friend Steve does, and Sam is actually much more in touch with the day to day realities of living in America than Steve is, seeing as how Sam actually lives among the people (Steve could be a little removed from the problems facing the typical American). I think Sam would do an incredible job as President.

2. Anne Marie Hoag: This name probably isn’t familiar to most casual comics readers, but Ms. Hoag was the owner of Damage Control. She’s slightly older, but she’s still younger than one of the current Presidential contenders. She’s actually got the money to make a run for the White House, she has connections in Washington DC, and she has the experience of running a huge company. She’s smart, she’s tough and I think she could get things done.

3. Hank McCoy: I picked a woman and an African-American for the top office, so why not a blue skinned mutant? I imagine it would be almost impossible for a mutant to win election to the top office of the Marvel Universe America, especially when he’s blue-furred and feral looking, but the Beast does have his time as an Avenger, which should give him credibility in the press. Again, he’s brilliant, yet he’s always had a very charismatic way of interacting with others, and I think he’s quite the diplomat.

4. Foggy Nelson: Daredevil’s alter ego of Matt Murdock has long been in business with his best friend Foggy Nelson, and I think Foggy would be an excellent president. He has some political experience, having been a District Attorney, and he’s come a long way from the early days, where he was often portrayed as somewhat bumbling. It’s been said many times that he’s an excellent attorney, that he’s very smart, and he’s proven to have a strong will. I think he would do quite well, and perhaps he could put his old friend on the ballot as his VP?

5. James Rhodes: I had some problems filling out the final slot in my list. In olden days, I would have chosen Reed Richards, Charles Xavier or Tony Stark, but they’ve all proven to be such asses over the past few years of Marvel time that I couldn’t possibly vote for them. I also think Jean Grey could have done a credible job as president, but she’s currently dead (although I’m sure she’ll be alive in time for the 2012 presidential race). Thinking through all the people I could choose, however, I thought Rhodes seemed to be a strong choice. He’s had some experience running a huge company, and more importantly, he’s tough, he’s smart, and he’s connected to what’s going on in the world. He’s always wanted to make a difference, and this would be a great way for him to make one.

Hmm…a small-time crook, a guy that looks like a blue cat, a bumbling lawyer who has been kidnapped/abused more often than he’s tried cases, a woman who has run a company based on cover-ups and a dude who also goes by the name “War Machine.” Nice picks!

I kid because I love.

There are some interesting picks in there, but of course I have to disagree with most of them and throw my five names into the ring! I like the fact that you avoided the obvious (though I’m not sure how you restrained yourself from putting your hero, Hank Pym, on the list). I was looking for someone with a legal background too…not sure about Foggy, but it’s a better thought than She-Hulk, which was the only other lawyer I could think of. And I love the idea of Anne Marie Hoag. However, I’m not sure Damage Control is prominent enough for her experience with them to be relevant to the general public. Beast is just a weird pick.

Anyhoo, here are my candidates:

5. James Rhodes: Look, I think James Rhodes would be an excellent choice for President. Oddly enough, I’ve always seen Marvel as the Democrats as opposed to DC’s more right-wing lean. Yet Rhodes is clearly in the GOP mold. He has a distinguished military background with a spattering of executive experience thrown in for good measure. Rhodey is like a younger Colin Powell. And, since I think Steve Rogers would be a bit of overkill (even if he were still alive) as President, Rhodes might not be a bad compromise.

4. Valerie Cooper: Hard-nosed and determined, Cooper has been on the forefront of government and mutant relations. She was originally introduced as a National Security Advisor, serving as director of Freedom Force, X-Factor and O*N*E as well as a supporter of the original Thunderbolts, and has been involved with various projects that seek to control the superhuman influence in America. She has a history of making tough decisions and would look good in $150,000 worth of Neiman Marcus clothing.

3. Tony Stark: While Reed Richards is a bit of an egghead and not the right fit, I have a hard time keeping Stark off this list, even if I don’t agree with the direction his character has taken in the last few years. He’s an extremely intelligent businessman who knows the government side of things inside and out. He was Secretary of Defense and is currently the head of SHIELD. Granted, he had a bit of a drinking problem, but I’m not sure how well-known that is to the general public. Aside from that, there’s really no way to keep him off the ballot. He’s one of the most prominent public figures in the Marvel Universe!

2. Nick Fury: Holy crap! A tough-talking veteran and master spy who chomps a cigar and sports an eyepatch? Who wouldn’t vote for him?!? Nick Fury knows as many ways to avoid a bad situation as he does ways to kill you with his earlobes. He can puff his chest and slam his fists with the best of them, but he still understands the delicate balance between involvement and observation. Plus, he’d easily garner the endorsement of Captain America. A no-nonsense choice.

1. Danny Rand: My number one choice is more in the mold of Barack Obama. Rand is someone who doesn’t have a lot of experience, but he is seen as a good decision maker. And the experience that he does have is all in the realm of helping others. His corporation has recently been turned into a non-profit charity. He has the calm demeanor and philosophical bent to be able to mitigate any volatile situation, with the strength and power to quickly end any dispute before it gets out of hand. Plus, he has excellent counsel in Jeryn Hogarth, a very mild-mannered yet intelligent attorney and businessman. I think folks would flock to Rand’s message of peace and harmony. And, he’s a young, rich, good-looking guy. That never hurts.

James Rhodes as Colin Powell? Interesting analogy, and not an entirely inaccurate one. I hadn’t considered it, but it does work.

However, I do disagree with your characterization of Foggy Nelson. Yes, he was played for laughs and depicted in less than stellar terms in the past, but I think he’s been shown to have grown quite a bit since the 70s and 80s. I’d give him another look.

I like Valerie Cooper, but she’s often been portrayed as a hard nosed, cynical, uncaring woman who will do whatever it takes to advance her own career. If that’s the sort of politician you want to vote for, why not vote for Hillary Clinton? (Zing! And a cheap shot, since I think Clinton takes way too much abuse and I actually voted for her in the primary.) Seriously, Cooper could be a neat character, but too many writers have begun to use her for the “jerky government stereotype” for me to be able to support her.

Tony freakin’ Stark? You have got to be kidding me!? He’s the John McCain of the Marvel Universe, which is to say that I could have supported him in 2000, but since then the man has shown that he has no honor and will do whatever advances his own career (man, I’m probably bringing real world politics into this too much. Hopefully our few readers won’t care. Sorry Mom!). There is no way that Stark should be considered for President; his behavior in Civil War was reprehensible, and that’s way too recent to forget.

Nick Fury? I don’t want to spend too much time picking apart your choices, but my mind is officially boggled. First of all, there’d be no Cap endorsement, since Cap is dead. Second, the idea of Fury as President seems to make as much sense as Wolverine as President; they’re not the sort of men who could ever do that job, as they’d want to be out in the field, getting their hands dirty. While I enjoy the idea of the President flying the Helicarrier over to the Middle East and personally leading a strike team into Afghanistan (and would pay money to see him call a visiting dignitary a “Yahoo” on national television), I just don’t see it.

But Rand? Good choice. Can we please have Luke Cage placed in the Cabinet? I would also pay money to see him shout “Sweet Christmas” during a press conference.

Yeah, yeah…I figured you’d be up in arms over Stark and Fury. I won’t try to defend them. Let’s just say this was more difficult than the DC post. It’s surprising to me how few government types there really are in the Marvel Universe. And it’s also interesting that most of the prominent government folks have been corrupt at one point or another. That really shows Marvel’s liberal views.

I like Val Cooper. I agree with your assessment of her and I almost see her as a version of Condi Rice, but in a good way. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to advance your career as long as it isn’t at the expense of others. And she always at least tries to do right by everyone she deals with. I figured it was either her or Henry Gyrich! Hell, he’s been involved in so many scandals it’s a wonder he still has any job.

Foggy Nelson still strikes me as an also-ran. He consistently plays second fiddle to Murdock. Maybe if he were a balding cross-dresser, we could portray him as the Giuliani candidate!

No, I think you and I come down to a Rhodes-Rand face-off. That would be a very intriguing development for Marvel. If they could actually stick with showing the government in a good light, either of these picks would make for a very cool storyline.

We should make campaign posters…